For a while now I have been trying, in vain, to figure every thing out. Sounds easy right? I realized that I have been afraid to move beyond the comfort of my little work room and made a lot of excuses about why taking classes is a racket, then I realized that my main excuse about having or not having a career as an artist was that I hadn't learned how to be one. For example "I'll never succeed because I never went to art school and I'm sure at art school they teach you how to have gallery shows and just generally put yourself out there" Translation, I'm scared to be a failure. Anyway, I am quite aware that I am not now and never will be the only person who feels this way.
I come to this day in a state of desperation. I struggle to make enough money to cover my general expenses and buy food. My husband has a good job but we barley make it to the end of the month with grocery money and we spend too much time explaining the cost of parties and toys and visits to the zoo to our 6 year old. I've always wanted to be self-sufficient and from time to time I have come close with stable graphic design work at great companies that I am very grateful to have once worked. But I found myself becoming angry and depressed at work. I always felt I should be doing something else, not like a choice more like a feeling that this just isn't what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing and if I didn't figure out I'd always be angry and depressed.
So that is the long explanation of why I'm taking this class. I have no expectation that this one class will magically transform my career but it might shine a light on the corner of the big picture. I'm taking this class because I want to get beyond my excuses.
here is my work from today: 1920s hairstyles